“God Brought Me Here”

Note: the following story contains scenes of violence and may not be appropriate for younger readers. We tell this story authentically so the reader may know what is truly happening in our world and take action. Additionally, we’re using an assumed name to protect the identity of our interviewee.

There weren’t any problems with the first child because he was a son. But when Lilly was born, her mother found herself at odds not only with Lilly’s father but with the weight of their entire West African culture. Lilly’s father told her mother that Lilly was to undergo a traditional, yet brutal surgical procedure that women and girls are subjected to in their village. Lilly’s mother stood up to her father, saying, “She’s too young,” and, “Let’s wait.” This bought time until Lilly was older and her mother could tell her about the surgery. “I don’t want that to happen to me,” she said to her mother.

At 12 years old, Lilly’s father pledged her to marriage. Again, her mother courageously stood up for her and refused. Lilly’s mother was terribly unhappy in her own marriage and she didn’t want Lilly to experience the same situation. Her father accepted the refusal, but later found another man for Lilly to marry and began to pressure her again.

Soon after, Lilly met the man she wanted to marry while helping her mother at the market. He was a local student, and when he proposed, she joyfully accepted. Lilly’s mother and older brother supported her and helped organize her wedding. Her father told her, “You’re just like your mother. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Lilly later gave birth to a son. A few years after that, her second child was born; a daughter. Lilly found history repeating itself with her father. Her father, her father-in-law, and everyone else in their village pressed Lilly to subject her daughter to the terrible surgical procedure that all girls experienced in their village. She bravely resisted.

Her daughter was snatched one day soon after by Lilly’s mother-in-law and other women from the village. They took her to a particular hut in the village where these surgical procedures were performed. Only women were allowed inside. Lilly contacted her husband in a panic, and her husband courageously burst into the hut in time to rescue his daughter. A man had never before entered this hut and the villagers believed that his presence alone was sufficient to “taint” the medicines used there.

Lilly’s husband ran back to their house with his daughter and they locked the doors. A group of men came to the house intending to beat Lilly’s husband to death. But Lilly, following in the courageous steps of her mother, came out of the house and took the blame. “Whatever you intend to do to my husband, you should do to me. I caused the problem.” 

The elders of the village soon met to determine that they wanted Lilly and her husband to pay to raze the hut and build a new one. They gave the money to the elders, but it was only to buy time because Lilly knew they were intending to kill her and her daughter.

One night soon after, Lilly and her children were at home while her husband went out to buy food. A group of men came to the house, barricaded the door from the outside, and set fire to the house with the family inside. Lilly frantically called her husband and he returned on his motorcycle to save them. The villagers stood by, watching but not helping, and Lilly and her husband knew that no one in the village would support or protect them. They left for another village.

Heartbreak and suffering continued to follow them. A man from the other village helped them but was eventually captured and beaten. Lilly’s mother’s house was also set on fire and she is now in hiding. Lilly’s father told her that her own daughter was worthless, saying, “Because she’s a girl, it would be better for her to just die.”

Lilly could have given up, but God had not given up on her. The man in the other village had helped Lilly get her passport and documents together to fly to Brazil. They had just enough money to send Lilly and the two children, leaving her husband behind in a heartbreaking, but necessary decision.

Lilly arrived in Brazil and made her way north on foot. She was accompanied at times by fellow refugees, but she fearlessly cared for her young children mostly alone on the journey. She arrived in Mexico and crossed into the United States to seek asylum. She knew no one in the U.S., but her husband had told her it was a place where they would take care of her children. U.S. Border Patrol agents put her and her children on a plane to Portland, Oregon.

Lilly arrived at PDX to meet a woman who knew of Jenny Barischoff and Ariana House in Salem, Oregon. Lilly and her children came to Salem and settled in with families from around the world. She has made friends with women from South America and has also found a community of West African women in Portland. “God brought me here. I thank God,” she says.

Lilly prays every day for her husband. He’s doing all right, but she longs for the day when he can join them in the United States. She asks everyone to pray for him and for their future reunion.

Her children are now in school and she just got her work authorization, thanks to the assistance of U.S. Senator Merkley. She also passed her driving test and received her license. She is excited to study more and become a nurse so that she can help girls in her home country escape the same troubles she experienced. She also wants her own children to grow up to be doctors.

Lilly’s children have resiliently overcome so many challenges and today, they have huge smiles on their faces. Her daughter, once stolen away by people intending to harm her, now greets visitors to Ariana House with joy and an open hand. “I feel good here,” says Lilly as she looks forward to a hope-filled future.

Lilly and her family are still adjusting to life here in the U.S., and you can help. Please donate to Ariana House today to help Lilly and others experience a safe, healthy, and purpose-filled future.